Monday, December 31, 2012

Happy New Year. Can I go to bed now?

Well, people, it's 12:37 on January 1, 2013 here in Birmingham. I went to a party tonight and I am proud to say I was there for AN HOUR AND A HALF. I got home around 11:30. I am safe and sound and warm and watching something I recorded about pagans (Pagans? Is that capitalized? I mean, it's a religion, right? Why is Muslim spelled so many different ways? Has anybody else noticed that when you spell it "Moslem" it looks a lot like "mausoleum?" I did.) And I am happy here at home by myself so BACK OFF AND STOP JUDGING.
Oh, I went to Subway for dinner tonight on my way to the party, and I got there at like 8:45 and there was one girl working there who said she had been there since 6:30 THIS MORNING. I asked her how long they were open and she said till 10:30, and when I was on my way back to my apartment I thought about stopping to see if she was still there to wish her a Happy New Year, but I wanted to go through Scottsdale and see the Christmas lights again (even though I already did it once) and going BACK to Subway would mean backtracking, and also even though I had the best of intentions I thought this girl would maybe think it was weird and be afraid of me for coming back to talk to her, and since I was already afraid of rapey murderers in my parking lot because the outside light over the apartment steps has gone out and that's totally asking to be kidnapped and raped and dismembered and have your remains scattered across 3 different states, I certainly didn't want to scare anybody else. I'm thoughtful like that.
Oh, I know you have all been worried about whether or not I have gotten my planner for this year (because not having a planner in time is one of the signs of the apocalypse, right?) so I would like to update you on that: I HAVE ONE. Actually, that's not true. I HAVE TWO. TWO PLANNERS. Because I'm thorough.
Actually I have two because one is little and goes everywhere with me and can even fit in my black purse, which is the smallest purse I have and that's why I took it with me to find the travel one, and the other one is bigger and will mostly stay home and keep track of EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN so that when I forget something, I have to come up with a really good excuse, and it will therefore be a good exercise in creativity. Only the problem is that I went to Staples and got a bunch of their stuff from the Martha Stewart line (because it is all color-coordinated and I saw an awesome example of it HERE>>> but then when I got home and tried to put it all together THE DIVIDER TABS DID NOT FIT MY BINDER!!! And I don't even know what binder they WOULD fit because they certainly won't fit a normal-sized one, and mine is 5.5"x8.5" and other than that and normal what other size is there??? WEIRD. BAD MARTHA. So I have to go BACK to Staples tomorrow to exchange my dividers for a set that actually works. But at least I have my little planner and tomorrow the rest of my big one should come together.
Once I get it all put together and organized exactly how I like it, I'll post a picture and links to all the stuff. But right now it is time for me to go back to laughing so hard I give birth to a kidney, and you can have this much fun too if you will go buy Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson, although if you are opposed to profanity I don't advise this. But sometimes cussing just makes things funnier. (Sorry, Mom, but that's how I feel.)
I've got to go read my book and see what sort of trouble the Pagans are getting themselves into; happy celebrations and be safe!

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