Saturday, May 18, 2013

Odd number of Tylenol in the jar....

So I have a really bad headache on one side, and I just went to get a couple more acetaminophen and an ibuprofen (that's right, I use the generic drug names because I know way too much about OTC medications and what you can combine and what you can't--if you're not as educated in legal pharmaceuticals as I am, acetaminophen is Tylenol and ibuprofen is Advil/Motrin) and I noticed that THERE ARE ONLY THREE WHITE ONES LEFT IN THE JAR.

People, Tylenol is a drug meant to be taken in two's. ALWAYS TWO. Unless, I guess, you're taking it in combination with--never mind, that's too complicated and I don't want to explain it and it undercuts my fundamental belief that THERE SHOULD NOT BE AN ODD NUMBER OF TYLENOL IN THE JAR.

Also, I just realized that when I write "an odd number of Tylenol in the jar" it runs through my head to the tune of "She'll Be Comin' Round the Mountain." Let's see, the second verse could go, "Take two Tylenol and some Advil if it's bad," and then the third verse could be like "Don't take Advil and aspirin together, you'll get sick." And then the last verse would be, "If you still feel bad, a prescription's where it's at."

There you have it, that's my OTC pain reliever philosophy summed up in song. Which is so NOT really the original topic of this post but it's MY BLOG and if I want to go off topic I CAN SO BACK OFF.

Anyway, the problem that started me thinking is that there were three white pills left in a jar that should ALWAYS have an even number of pills in it, because you are supposed to take them in two's. A pair. Dos. Deux. And given that the jar started with 500, there is no excuse (except for the one I refuse to acknowledge because it changes my theory) for having an odd number. This is probably going to bother me for awhile, just like it bothers me when Bob takes two Sudafed, and then two more, but instead of taking all 4 out of the same blister pack he takes them all out of the top row, so that now TWO SEPARATE BLISTER PACKS have been compromised.


This is why my anti-anxiety medication comes in a bottle with the instructions to take one a day. That way it doesn't matter how many are in the bottle even if I miss a dose because at one pill at a time, it doesn't matter if there are an even or odd number. There's only a problem if the number is zero. Much like with cookies. Or eyes. Cause unless you are completely blind then even if you only have one eye you can still see, at least a little. If you have two eyes, congratulations, you're normal. If you have more than two eyes, you're not normal but you can probably see better than I can. Most people can see better than I can, though, so that doesn't say much. If you have zero eyes, though, or if all of your eyes are blind, then that's pretty much universally considered a problem. Maybe I should call the manufacturers of acetaminophen (ALL of them) and ask them to change the directions from "Take two" to "Take one, and then take one more." That would solve a lot of MY problems, or at least make them less obvious.

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