I had a married moment today. Bob was getting out of the shower and getting dressed, and I was getting ready to take laundry to my parents' house since we don't have a washer and dryer at our apartment. So as he opened the door I threw out my hand and said, "Give me your underwear."
Ladies, this is your life as a wife: washing your husband's dirty underwear and being glad to do it, because that way you know that at least he HAS clean underwear, and you also know when he needs a new pair because the old ones have holes bigger than the waistband.
This is not to say that Bob doesn't ever do anything to help out--today, for example, he put all the dirty dishes in the dishwasher and fixed dinner. Last week he did the laundry because I was out of town, and most weekends we do the laundry together and share the folding and putting-away. Our marriage is very much a partnership and every day we learn about one more thing that annoys the other person and one more thing that makes them happy.
This is also not to say that every woman enjoys domesticity: I know several women who hate either cooking, or cleaning, or laundry, or all of it. My own mother is not a fan of cooking, but it made her happy to give my sister, my dad, and me a reasonably clean home, clean clothes, and healthy meals (when we would eat them.)(I say reasonably clean not because she was not a good housekeeper, but because with two children, two dogs, two cats and numerous friends and neighbors tromping through the house every day it's a wonder the house is still standing at all.) I have several friends who would rather express a dog's anal glands than vacuum. And that's fine. Everybody has different preferences, strengths, and ideas about who should do what in the house.
All this is to make the point that while demanding that a person hand over his dirty underwear is not something I'd choose as a career, it makes me happy that I can do certain things to take care of my husband, even when he's perfectly capable of doing them himself.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Mawwiage
We have now been married for a little over three weeks, closing in on four. In one way it is still new and exciting and I feel almost like we are just playing house. In another way, though, most of the time it seems like life has always been this way. It feels exactly like it did when I would go visit Bob in Auburn for a weekend, only it's one fabulous weekend that never ends. It's like life was always meant to be this way--it just feels so perfectly right.
I actually cook dinner most nights--I'm trying to keep up with planning meals two weeks in advance to limit last-minute grocery trips, and having expensive vegetables go bad before I use them all, and forgetting that there is a carton of sour cream in the fridge that has been expired for two weeks (yes, sour cream CAN AND WILL EXPIRE.) Some dinners have worked out well; others have left something to be desired. Bob has never told me anything is bad, though--he always says it's at least "edible," and I'm usually my own worst critic. He never complains when something happens and he has to fend for himself or when we have a last-minute change of plans and just have to have frozen pizza or spaghetti.
Our biggest adjustment in life has not actually been living together--it's been the change in our schedules. Since I got hired at Pleasant Grove Elementary as a special ed aide and he started class instead of work, I have to get up at a painfully dark hour and he doesn't get home until after 6. That means I stay up later to hang out with him, and he gets woken up at 5:30 when I get up to go to work. As a result, we're both thoroughly exhausted. I do get home around 4, though, and that gives me time to work on dinner and have it on the table before 7:30 pm.
That's all I'm going to write for now; I could go on for awhile, but I'll stop for now. Future posting topics will include Bella, my charge at school who is almost totally blind; the reason I spend hours on Pinterest each day but don't have the energy to clean; and why sex is worth waiting for. (The sex post will NOT include inappropriate personal details, disgusting euphemisms, or judgement about anyone's personal choices--merely reasons why, if you're on the fence, I recommend waiting.) I apologize for the lack of humor lately. It's all I can do right now to keep posting with some honesty and regularity. Hopefully future posts will be funnier--anything to do with Bella will probably be pretty good. She's a handful!
I actually cook dinner most nights--I'm trying to keep up with planning meals two weeks in advance to limit last-minute grocery trips, and having expensive vegetables go bad before I use them all, and forgetting that there is a carton of sour cream in the fridge that has been expired for two weeks (yes, sour cream CAN AND WILL EXPIRE.) Some dinners have worked out well; others have left something to be desired. Bob has never told me anything is bad, though--he always says it's at least "edible," and I'm usually my own worst critic. He never complains when something happens and he has to fend for himself or when we have a last-minute change of plans and just have to have frozen pizza or spaghetti.
Our biggest adjustment in life has not actually been living together--it's been the change in our schedules. Since I got hired at Pleasant Grove Elementary as a special ed aide and he started class instead of work, I have to get up at a painfully dark hour and he doesn't get home until after 6. That means I stay up later to hang out with him, and he gets woken up at 5:30 when I get up to go to work. As a result, we're both thoroughly exhausted. I do get home around 4, though, and that gives me time to work on dinner and have it on the table before 7:30 pm.
That's all I'm going to write for now; I could go on for awhile, but I'll stop for now. Future posting topics will include Bella, my charge at school who is almost totally blind; the reason I spend hours on Pinterest each day but don't have the energy to clean; and why sex is worth waiting for. (The sex post will NOT include inappropriate personal details, disgusting euphemisms, or judgement about anyone's personal choices--merely reasons why, if you're on the fence, I recommend waiting.) I apologize for the lack of humor lately. It's all I can do right now to keep posting with some honesty and regularity. Hopefully future posts will be funnier--anything to do with Bella will probably be pretty good. She's a handful!
Sunday, January 1, 2012
New Year = New Resolutions to Break
Hello friends, it's January 1, and we know what that means--time to make New Year's Resolutions! Now we all know that NYRs typically follow the same patterns with everybody: a resolution to eat healthier and to exercise, usually followed by a resolution to lose X pounds; one to stay/get more organized; one to spend more time with loved ones; one to pick up a new hobby, learn a new skill, take a class, or complete X number of projects....
These are the standards. And usually another standard is to break your resolutions by mid-February at the latest. So I figured I might as well choose resolutions I have little to no control over, and that way I can avoid any guilt whatsoever if I don't succeed, and I get to feel fabulously superior if I do. So here are my resolutions for 2012:
1. Get bigger boobs
2. Have a 92% good-hair-day rate
3. Improve contact prescription (under 14 would be great)
4. Go 6 months without a sinus infection
Now I think these are great resolutions to have. There are other things I want to do this year, too, to improve myself, my life, and my marriage, but rather than call them "goals" or "resolutions" (which allow for failure if you fail to meet them) I'll just call them "things I want to do." Maybe if I am less stressed by the idea of failure, I'll do better at these things.
1. Keep our home in a state of "20 minutes to clean enough to entertain."
2. Bake or cook new recipes frequently--one to three a month at least
3. Walk more often, work up to running a couple of miles without stopping
Now, how about you guys? What are some things you want to start doing, or do better at, this year?
These are the standards. And usually another standard is to break your resolutions by mid-February at the latest. So I figured I might as well choose resolutions I have little to no control over, and that way I can avoid any guilt whatsoever if I don't succeed, and I get to feel fabulously superior if I do. So here are my resolutions for 2012:
1. Get bigger boobs
2. Have a 92% good-hair-day rate
3. Improve contact prescription (under 14 would be great)
4. Go 6 months without a sinus infection
Now I think these are great resolutions to have. There are other things I want to do this year, too, to improve myself, my life, and my marriage, but rather than call them "goals" or "resolutions" (which allow for failure if you fail to meet them) I'll just call them "things I want to do." Maybe if I am less stressed by the idea of failure, I'll do better at these things.
1. Keep our home in a state of "20 minutes to clean enough to entertain."
2. Bake or cook new recipes frequently--one to three a month at least
3. Walk more often, work up to running a couple of miles without stopping
Now, how about you guys? What are some things you want to start doing, or do better at, this year?
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Some Insight
It's Christmas Eve, Bob is out hiking with his friends, and I'm at home doing what he has termed my "womanly duties" of sorting through wedding presents and trying to get things organized. This post will be short; I just thought I'd share with you a brief thought I had while unpacking our beautiful knife set and block from my New York cousins, Jonathan and Alessia.
It's something like an 18-piece set and includes just about anything you could need for standard preparation of any food you'd actually bring home to cook rather than going out and having somebody else cook it for you.
Among this lovely set of knives is a big ol' meat cleaver. I mean one of those that is like 3 inches wide and 6 inches long, the kind you see in horror movies. And no, I didn't think about cleaving food. This is just a small example of the train of thought of people who regularly experience anxiety, are high strung, or watch too many episodes of "Criminal Minds." (Emily Pair, this is for you.)
As I took it out of the little plastic bag and paper sleeve, I look at it and thought, this is exactly the type of knife you see in horror movies. And to continue in that thread, as I looked at it and placed it in its spot in the block, I thought, "Great. Now if anybody breaks in while we're sleeping, they'll go straight for the meat cleaver and hack us to pieces."
Merry Christmas.
*Cue "Psycho" music....
It's something like an 18-piece set and includes just about anything you could need for standard preparation of any food you'd actually bring home to cook rather than going out and having somebody else cook it for you.
Among this lovely set of knives is a big ol' meat cleaver. I mean one of those that is like 3 inches wide and 6 inches long, the kind you see in horror movies. And no, I didn't think about cleaving food. This is just a small example of the train of thought of people who regularly experience anxiety, are high strung, or watch too many episodes of "Criminal Minds." (Emily Pair, this is for you.)
As I took it out of the little plastic bag and paper sleeve, I look at it and thought, this is exactly the type of knife you see in horror movies. And to continue in that thread, as I looked at it and placed it in its spot in the block, I thought, "Great. Now if anybody breaks in while we're sleeping, they'll go straight for the meat cleaver and hack us to pieces."
Merry Christmas.
*Cue "Psycho" music....
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Marriage: Day 3
Me and Bob have been married for three days now, and although it has been good so far, I have even higher hopes for the future because hopefully we will not always be sick. He has had a nasty cough for about a week now, and I am on week 3 of the crud, now with double pink eye to complete the pretty picture. He's snoozing next to me on the couch right now; apparently our first trip to the grocery store was exhausting.
Our actual wedding day was awesome--if anything went wrong, I didn't know it, and I was only seriously stressed for a period of about 30 minutes when I was wondering WHY the guys were not yet dressed when they were supposed to be on their way to the house for pictures. But we all got there in plenty of time, and the rest of the day was perfect. I believe we may be in the running for Shortest Wedding Ceremony Ever, because the time between when my grandmother was seated to "I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Robert Benner" was only 12 minutes. I have the video evidence to prove it. And it was fabulous. If you weren't there, you can read through the ceremony in the United Methodist Hymnal, and that's pretty much it. The same words couples have said for hundreds of years, cause why mess with perfection?
Nobody cried--not that I know of. We both giggled a little bit. Somebody told me afterwards, "I've never seen anybody just so HAPPY to get married before." I think that's the biggest compliment I got all day.
We left for Chattanooga by about 4:15, stopped in Trussville at Olive Garden for dinner, and then went on our way. We stayed at The Chattanoogan, which I thought would be ideal since it was right downtown and less than a mile from the aquarium, but apparently it is in the business downtown section, not the fun downtown section. So there was NOBODY AROUND. It was very quiet, though, and we were able to relax without any loud kids or drunk people wandering through the halls. Food was kind of hard to find, though, especially Sunday morning because everything in the business part is closed during weekends. We eventually found a coffee shop after walking for nearly an hour, and I got a cinnamon croissant and Bob got a double chocolate chip scone, which were both delicious. We walked across the big long bridge (Walnut Bridge I think it's called, something like the longest pedestrian-only bridge in the continental US), walked BACK along the bridge, went to TGIFriday's for lunch (I was high on Mucinex and could barely stand at this point) before going to the aquarium.
Remember how I said there was NOBODY around downtown Chattanooga Sunday morning? Well, that still holds true for Sunday afternoon. It was kind of awesome, though, to have the aquarium be so empty. We could walk at our own pace, didn't have to shove to pet the stingrays or see the penguins, and we could hug and kiss occasionally without getting dirty looks from anybody's parents.
After a much-needed nap, we hiked back down to the river area to find some dinner. We ate at the Big River Grille and Brewery, and ours was one of maybe 5 tables that had people there. It wasn't anything special, but it was a pretty good meal and we enjoyed the quiet and the walk.
Monday we came on home, which was fortunate as my crud was only getting worse. We've spent the last 24 hours moving Bob's stuff into the apartment and trying to get things organized, which is going perhaps a little slower than we'd like, but we're getting there. I've planned out our dinners for the next 2 weeks and we went grocery shopping so tomorrow when I get home I get to fix dinner like a real live house wife.
Here's hoping that we can stop coughing for 6 or so hours tonight to get a normal amount of sleep. It's so nice to have somebody to wake up to in the mornings!
That's all for now, and thanks to everyone who made our wedding so special!
Our actual wedding day was awesome--if anything went wrong, I didn't know it, and I was only seriously stressed for a period of about 30 minutes when I was wondering WHY the guys were not yet dressed when they were supposed to be on their way to the house for pictures. But we all got there in plenty of time, and the rest of the day was perfect. I believe we may be in the running for Shortest Wedding Ceremony Ever, because the time between when my grandmother was seated to "I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Robert Benner" was only 12 minutes. I have the video evidence to prove it. And it was fabulous. If you weren't there, you can read through the ceremony in the United Methodist Hymnal, and that's pretty much it. The same words couples have said for hundreds of years, cause why mess with perfection?
Nobody cried--not that I know of. We both giggled a little bit. Somebody told me afterwards, "I've never seen anybody just so HAPPY to get married before." I think that's the biggest compliment I got all day.
We left for Chattanooga by about 4:15, stopped in Trussville at Olive Garden for dinner, and then went on our way. We stayed at The Chattanoogan, which I thought would be ideal since it was right downtown and less than a mile from the aquarium, but apparently it is in the business downtown section, not the fun downtown section. So there was NOBODY AROUND. It was very quiet, though, and we were able to relax without any loud kids or drunk people wandering through the halls. Food was kind of hard to find, though, especially Sunday morning because everything in the business part is closed during weekends. We eventually found a coffee shop after walking for nearly an hour, and I got a cinnamon croissant and Bob got a double chocolate chip scone, which were both delicious. We walked across the big long bridge (Walnut Bridge I think it's called, something like the longest pedestrian-only bridge in the continental US), walked BACK along the bridge, went to TGIFriday's for lunch (I was high on Mucinex and could barely stand at this point) before going to the aquarium.
Remember how I said there was NOBODY around downtown Chattanooga Sunday morning? Well, that still holds true for Sunday afternoon. It was kind of awesome, though, to have the aquarium be so empty. We could walk at our own pace, didn't have to shove to pet the stingrays or see the penguins, and we could hug and kiss occasionally without getting dirty looks from anybody's parents.
After a much-needed nap, we hiked back down to the river area to find some dinner. We ate at the Big River Grille and Brewery, and ours was one of maybe 5 tables that had people there. It wasn't anything special, but it was a pretty good meal and we enjoyed the quiet and the walk.
Monday we came on home, which was fortunate as my crud was only getting worse. We've spent the last 24 hours moving Bob's stuff into the apartment and trying to get things organized, which is going perhaps a little slower than we'd like, but we're getting there. I've planned out our dinners for the next 2 weeks and we went grocery shopping so tomorrow when I get home I get to fix dinner like a real live house wife.
Here's hoping that we can stop coughing for 6 or so hours tonight to get a normal amount of sleep. It's so nice to have somebody to wake up to in the mornings!
That's all for now, and thanks to everyone who made our wedding so special!
Monday, December 12, 2011
5 days to go....
There are five days to go until my wedding and I am fairly sure my brain is slowly leaking out through my ears during the night, for the following reasons:
1. I can hardly finish a sentence. My mother, father, sister, future in-laws, co-workers, and lovely fiance can attest to this. More often than not, I start talking and then say, "....Wait, what was I telling you?"
2. I am having the Stress Dreams. These often resemble nightmares, some more gruesome than others. Last night's was not too bad, just creepy--before I had gone to bed, I realized I had been sitting in the apartment with the door unlocked for a couple of hours, which is highly unusual but understandable as I had had an armful of crap when I walked in. So I made a mental note to check all the closets before I went to bed. In the dream, I was lying in bed staring at the wall when I realized that I had not checked the bedroom closet, which was facing me. I was terrified that somebody was in there, staring at me, waiting for me to fall asleep. So of course I couldn't sleep. When I woke up I realized that I actually HAD been sleeping because the closet is in a different spot, but I didn't feel any more rested.
3. I LOST a pair of tennis shoes in a one-bedroom apartment. WHO DOES THAT? I looked in my closets, in my car, even called my mother to see if they were at her house--no. I eventually found them behind the couch--no idea how they got there.
4. I spent almost 10 minutes looking for my watch this morning before deciding to give up because I had to get to work--and I realized I was wearing it. I have no recollection at all of picking it up, putting it on, or where it was.
The wedding can't get here soon enough; I don't know if it will help at all, being finished with it, but at least I won't have so many things on my to-do list.
1. I can hardly finish a sentence. My mother, father, sister, future in-laws, co-workers, and lovely fiance can attest to this. More often than not, I start talking and then say, "....Wait, what was I telling you?"
2. I am having the Stress Dreams. These often resemble nightmares, some more gruesome than others. Last night's was not too bad, just creepy--before I had gone to bed, I realized I had been sitting in the apartment with the door unlocked for a couple of hours, which is highly unusual but understandable as I had had an armful of crap when I walked in. So I made a mental note to check all the closets before I went to bed. In the dream, I was lying in bed staring at the wall when I realized that I had not checked the bedroom closet, which was facing me. I was terrified that somebody was in there, staring at me, waiting for me to fall asleep. So of course I couldn't sleep. When I woke up I realized that I actually HAD been sleeping because the closet is in a different spot, but I didn't feel any more rested.
3. I LOST a pair of tennis shoes in a one-bedroom apartment. WHO DOES THAT? I looked in my closets, in my car, even called my mother to see if they were at her house--no. I eventually found them behind the couch--no idea how they got there.
4. I spent almost 10 minutes looking for my watch this morning before deciding to give up because I had to get to work--and I realized I was wearing it. I have no recollection at all of picking it up, putting it on, or where it was.
The wedding can't get here soon enough; I don't know if it will help at all, being finished with it, but at least I won't have so many things on my to-do list.
Friday, November 25, 2011
He loves me anyway
There has been a LOT going on in the past month. While Bob and I had wanted to get moved into an apartment before Thanksgiving (or have me moved in and gradually truck his stuff up here) to avoid Christmas traffic around 280, we did not expect to be signing a lease on Halloween. It was a surprise, but a good surprise, and for the past 26 days there have been a lot of revelations.
1. People try to be honest, but they make mistakes, and sometimes you have to pay for their mistakes. We ended up having to pay an additional $100 deposit AFTER signing the lease because our leasing agent made a mistake. Now, I normally would have been extremely upset about this but he had told us in previous conversations that he worked 2 jobs and had a newborn at home, so I understand that brains don't always work at full capacity. But it was still an aggravating situation, and I still don't think it was fair.
2. When you make $8.50 an hour, you can practically feel your money crawling out of your pockets on an hourly basis. As Bob and I still have separate checking accounts, mine is going to take a BIG hit on Dec. 1 due to rent payment. Every time I go to the grocery store or check the mail, I feel the pain of my bank account. However, while I have not been able to contribute much to my savings account lately (and by "much" I mean "any") I have also not taken anything out, and that feels good.
3. If you have warm pajamas and a coffee-maker, you can be perfectly comfortable with the thermostat set on 65.
4. Having a couch makes a huge difference in the comfort level and completeness of your living room. Sitting on a pillow in front of the coffee table makes you look like a broke college student--which is fine when that's what you are, and you're the only person who lives there.
5. If you work 9-6 with two-year-olds, no matter what, you will NOT come home and say to yourself, "I think I'll spend the next 45 minutes fixing dinner from multiple raw ingredients." You're going to say, "What's the fastest, easiest-to-clean thing I can fix?" even if that thing is bagel bites or oatmeal, and you had the same thing for breakfast.
And the revelations just keep coming. I have eaten a LOT of noodles with butter, Kraft macaroni and cheese, sandwiches, oatmeal, and chips for meals lately. Part of the exhaustion may come from the stress of wedding planning, which has gotten better now that I've almost finished my thank-you notes and I finally downloaded the music for the ceremony and reception. We have just three weeks until the wedding and I'm so ready to be done with it all. Bob has been sick, which has not made it easier, but he's getting better and that has helped. He's been able to spend some time at the apartment the past couple of weekends, which brings me to the reason I titled this post "He loves me anyway."
Bob came over Wednesday evening as I was preparing the sweet potato casserole for our Thanksgiving meal with my grandparents in St. Clair county. I had to start with ACTUAL SWEET POTATOES, NOT canned ones, which is a big thing for my family. So I had a lot more to do that I am used to, even though I like to cook and bake. I will typically turn some music on when I'm in the kitchen, and because I'm usually alone, I have no problem dancing and singing along when I'm working. But I've never let Bob see me at this because I didn't want to scare him away. Well, Wednesday night, "Circle of Life" comes on my Pandora station and he looked at me, shook his head, said something to the effect of "You're special." And he left at that.
This is one of the very, VERY few things I have kept from him in the years leading to our marriage (like my blanket. It's still here, just inside my pillowcase.) But the gloves are coming off, and apparently he still wants to hold my hand. This is good.
1. People try to be honest, but they make mistakes, and sometimes you have to pay for their mistakes. We ended up having to pay an additional $100 deposit AFTER signing the lease because our leasing agent made a mistake. Now, I normally would have been extremely upset about this but he had told us in previous conversations that he worked 2 jobs and had a newborn at home, so I understand that brains don't always work at full capacity. But it was still an aggravating situation, and I still don't think it was fair.
2. When you make $8.50 an hour, you can practically feel your money crawling out of your pockets on an hourly basis. As Bob and I still have separate checking accounts, mine is going to take a BIG hit on Dec. 1 due to rent payment. Every time I go to the grocery store or check the mail, I feel the pain of my bank account. However, while I have not been able to contribute much to my savings account lately (and by "much" I mean "any") I have also not taken anything out, and that feels good.
3. If you have warm pajamas and a coffee-maker, you can be perfectly comfortable with the thermostat set on 65.
4. Having a couch makes a huge difference in the comfort level and completeness of your living room. Sitting on a pillow in front of the coffee table makes you look like a broke college student--which is fine when that's what you are, and you're the only person who lives there.
5. If you work 9-6 with two-year-olds, no matter what, you will NOT come home and say to yourself, "I think I'll spend the next 45 minutes fixing dinner from multiple raw ingredients." You're going to say, "What's the fastest, easiest-to-clean thing I can fix?" even if that thing is bagel bites or oatmeal, and you had the same thing for breakfast.
And the revelations just keep coming. I have eaten a LOT of noodles with butter, Kraft macaroni and cheese, sandwiches, oatmeal, and chips for meals lately. Part of the exhaustion may come from the stress of wedding planning, which has gotten better now that I've almost finished my thank-you notes and I finally downloaded the music for the ceremony and reception. We have just three weeks until the wedding and I'm so ready to be done with it all. Bob has been sick, which has not made it easier, but he's getting better and that has helped. He's been able to spend some time at the apartment the past couple of weekends, which brings me to the reason I titled this post "He loves me anyway."
Bob came over Wednesday evening as I was preparing the sweet potato casserole for our Thanksgiving meal with my grandparents in St. Clair county. I had to start with ACTUAL SWEET POTATOES, NOT canned ones, which is a big thing for my family. So I had a lot more to do that I am used to, even though I like to cook and bake. I will typically turn some music on when I'm in the kitchen, and because I'm usually alone, I have no problem dancing and singing along when I'm working. But I've never let Bob see me at this because I didn't want to scare him away. Well, Wednesday night, "Circle of Life" comes on my Pandora station and he looked at me, shook his head, said something to the effect of "You're special." And he left at that.
This is one of the very, VERY few things I have kept from him in the years leading to our marriage (like my blanket. It's still here, just inside my pillowcase.) But the gloves are coming off, and apparently he still wants to hold my hand. This is good.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)